05 January 2009

Emirates ID Card :D

Operator: 'Thank you for calling Pizza Hut May I have your...'

Customer: 'Helloo, can I order..'

Operator: 'Can I have your multi UAE identity card number first, Sir?'

Customer: 'It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610'

Operator: 'OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from Naser Square , Deira, Dubai . Your home number is 04-2254821, your office 04-3480536 and your mobile is 050-9923487. Which number are you calling from now Sir?'

Customer: 'Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : 'We are connected to the system Sir'

Customer: 'May I order your Seafood Pizza...'

Operator : 'That's not a good idea Sir'

Customer: 'How come?'

Operator : 'According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir'

Customer: 'What?... What do you recommend then?'

Operator: 'Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it'

Customer: 'How do you know for sure?'

Operator : 'You borrowed a book entitled 'Popular Hokkien Dishes' from the National Library last week Sir'

Customer: 'OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?'

Operator: 'That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is AED 67.00'

Customer: 'Can I pay by credit card?'

Operator: 'I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir.. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.'

Customer: 'I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives'

Operator: 'You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today'

Customer: 'Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?'

Operator: 'About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...'

Customer: 'What!'

Operator: 'According to the details in system, you own a Scooter...registration number 1123...'

Customer: '????'

Operator: 'Is there anything else Sir?'

Customer: 'Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?'

Operator: 'We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... '

Customer: #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator: 'Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?'

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